I’m writing to you to apologize for my life long behavior. You see, at an early age my parents mistakenly taught me to take responsibility for my actions, to work hard, to make good choices, to help others. For some reason, you see, my parents thought it would be best to instill in me conservative values. You know, to be a good son, to believe in God, to say “yes, sir or yes, ma’am” , to open doors for the elderly or for a woman, not to smoke or drink, to get an education, to only have relations with women, not men, to find a wife, start a family, to provide for my family by working hard and to teach my child these same values.
I’m apologizing to you, America, because it is clear to me that my parents were wrong. I look at you, America, and see the example you provide. Your example tells me not to give special treatment to the elderly or to the opposite sex. You teach me that I do not have to take responsibility for my own actions, that I don’t even have to work hard, or even at all. I can make all the bad life choices I want and you will still stand by me, America. You teach me that there is no point in thinking of others, that life is all about me and mine. Your lesson shows me that being a good son is over rated. In fact, you teach me to sue my parents if I am unhappy in any way with the way they are raising me. You teach me that religion is no longer important, you’ve taken it out of school so that I don’t have to be subjected to it, except, of course, for the Muslims that want to kneel and pray to Mecca while I’m trying to learn algebraic formulas. You’ve shown me that not only do we not stand against all terrorism aimed at destroying us, we let them into our country so that their religious beliefs can take root and supersede our Constitution. You’ve taught me, primarily through the behavior of our political leaders, that being respectful to others is a sign of weakness. I now realize, thanks to you America, that I can smoke and drink to excess and you will provide me rehab and healthcare that is paid for by others. Education is no longer a necessity; in fact, it’s pointless since you will provide me all manner of welfare. America, the most embarrassing thing my parents taught me was that being gay was wrong. How could they have been so wrong? You’ve proven to me, America, being gay is not only acceptable; it’s the way to get ahead in business. If people discriminate against me, you allow me to sue them and take their money. You’ve taught me that being married is overrated. In fact, having children out-of-wedlock results in increased welfare and tax benefits. I get paid to have more babies! Of course, this is if I choose not to be gay, which is ok. Your example proves that having a “traditional family” is not only not necessary, it’s just stupid. Why settle down with just one woman, or man, you know? Finally, and I’m so relieved that I have seen your example before I was too old to enjoy life, there is no need for me to work hard to provide for my country as you, America, will do that for me!
Yes, America, I can now see that my parents were sorely mistaken. In fact, I’m thinking about suing them for all of the emotional harm they have caused me by these mis-teachings. Your liberal, socialist ways will provide me with all of my needs, no matter the life choices I make. Why should I care if the money required to keep me and my babies mommies up come from hard-working people who are stupid enough to think they are doing it the right way? As long as I get mine, right America?
Thanks for providing me with a guiding light, America. I’ll make you proud now. I’ll never work again. I’ll make all the bad life choices I want without fear of consequences. I’ll father many illegitimate children who will grow up in the system and provide you the voters you need in the future. You’ve got my back, right America? Thank you.
A Liberal Convert
How many of you have recently felt this way? You ask yourself, “why is it so difficult for Americans of every race, creed, or religion to understand that socialism will kill America”?
The theory of socialism argues that common ownership of property and common management of the economy. When moving from a capitalist society like America, it requires a redistribution of wealth. In other words, reduce the wealth of the richest citizens and increase the wealth of the poorest citizens. This can be seen everyday in the Obama America. From Obamacare to recent tax policy, Obama strongly believes in using class warfare to effectuate redistribution of wealth. In theory, therefore, all Americans would, at some future point, be equal.
This is an absolute fallacy. This theory assumes that each person will act for the common good of his/her fellow man, rather than self-dealing. Let me ask you, if we are all equal, then who among us will choose to be a janitor while others choose to be CEO’s? This will never happen. This theory artificially props up the weakest of our society.
Capitalism, conversely, is akin to the natural law known as the survival of the fittest. A person’s bad choices and mistakes are costly and are not rewarded. Those who are the strongest, those who make the best choices and learn from or minimalize their mistakes, are most likely to survive and thrive. There is no artificial propping up of those who should not survive (recent federal government bailouts notwithstanding).
America, you have dramatically increased the number of “takers” and dramatically reduced the number of “makers” under Obama. Makers are now having to work just as hard for less money. (increased taxes, see estate tax post) At some point, makers will realize it is not worth it and they will become takers. The problem with this is that when this happens, there will be no more makers and the house of cards will fall. Thanks for the change, Obama, you can keep it. (you were planning on it anyway)
P.S. On second thought, America, you can keep all of your liberal teachings. I am proud of my conservative upbringing and I will continue to raise my child in the same manner. I will fight you, America, for the soul of my child. You are wrong, America, and you are destined to fail, unless you make the difficult changes required to save our country. The day you learn to honor and respect hard work is the day you begin to earn back my respect.
A traditionally conservative American